After my last post, I thought I had lots of time until le petite bebe would join the world. I had all of these posts I planned to write during my week at home pre-baby life wrap-up. Pair that with the work (like actual “at my job” work) tasks that weren’t yet complete, the car that wasn’t yet cleaned out, the few last baby tasks that weren’t done, the seeds I was going to start (still haven’t), the clothes I was going to unpack in anticipation of having my body back right away (ha!), those extra hours of sleep to stockpile, the thank-you notes that I still haven’t finished, and the list goes on. Um…yeah. Right.
Well, nature had much better plans for me and taught me a great lesson: some things are simply far more important than a to-do list; some things are completely impossible to plan perfectly. This I couldn’t possibly have know until my child took his first breath and stole my heart.
How quickly I went from this just a week before the big birthday.
And this, on my last day at work with my dear friend, Valerie (who is expecting her first child later this year).
To finally seeing my adorable baby boy.
I felt him kick for months to reassure me that he was OK. I felt him wiggling around when quarters got cramped. I saw all of his little body parts on an ultrasound every week and heard his heartbeat twice and sometimes three times per week at the end!
Suddenly, that little life I felt was delivered into my arms. I’ll share my birth story soon, but I’m way too weepy to even write about it still. Such a happy day.
I stressed myself out in the months before he was born because I had it in my mind that we needed to go on a baby moon. We needed that last hurrah. Some fun before life as we knew it would be over. The last weekend away when we’d just “be us.” Life got too busy and we never took that baby moon. A few days after Anderson was born, I was speaking to a friend of mine. I was crying (happily) and telling her how beautiful life was and how much I wanted to hang onto every moment with him. I described the bubble we were in as a new little family, fumbling our way through our baby’s first diapers and soothing his his first cries and holding him for his first love-filled snuggles…all the while feeling a high that I couldn’t have ever known existed. I explained to her that I had just a few more days before Chris had to go back to work and how I was dreading the burst of our blissful bubble. Also how I knew I’d fall in love with my new baby, but I didn’t realize I’d also fall even more madly in love with my husband after going through such an intense experience and seeing him as a dad. I received a note from this insightful friend that simply said: “Enjoy this baby moon.”
Suddenly, it hit me. I didn’t need a baby moon before Anderson came to be with us. The baby moon that I’ll always remember was having the three of us home that first week to figure it all out and be together. I still turn to mush when I think of that first emotional week.
So, without any further blah blah verbiage…here are some pictures from the first weeks our new love, who will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. A little boy that makes me choke up daily. A complete miracle beyond any dream I dreamed. A reason why, even when times are challenging, my life is so full of laughter and joy and love.
I’ll add more pictures as he grows (I already–tearfully–retired one of the newborn sized outfits). Every day, he does something new and we see a bit more of his personality. Here is the most recent picture of our future animal lovin’ little man.